Check out this interesting bootylicious feature from askmen.com
Battle: Mariah Carey vs. Jennifer Lopez
By Manny Kentros
Entertainment Correspondent
It is time, once again, for the AskMen.com celebrity showdown. This week we bring you the battle of the “Ditzy Divas“.
In the blue corner, we have the glittery songbird. Wearing little else than thin strings to cover her oversized chest, she has sold tens of millions of albums worldwide and can belt out a tune as fine as the next diva. She is now starring in her own movie, Glitter; ladies and gents, let’s welcome Mariah Carey.
In the red corner, we have the ultimate cross-media entertainer. Wearing little else than a g-string to cover her oversized booty, she has sold tens of millions of albums worldwide and became the first artist to be have both the #1 album and #1 movie at the same time. Let’s welcome the incomparable, Jennifer “J-Lo” Lopez.
They are both multi-platinum artists who wear skimpy clothing, but that is about all they have in common. Brace yourselves for the catfight of the century!
Most likely to have been a crybaby
Mariah Carey
How else would you guys explain her having pipes that can hit those high notes for so long? Lately she sounds like the old lady next door howling after getting her thumb stuck in a clothes pin.
Most likely to have been a diaper model
J-Lo
Jennifer gets the nod here. She’s been putting that booty to good use for years, and we think she got some early practice as a Pampers-girl. Mariah auditioned for the part too, but she did not seem to understand that she had to stop crying at some point.
Most likely to endorse Prozac
Mariah Carey
Considering she’s lost most of her marbles lately and she more than likely needs a daily double dose of the happy drug, we think she may like the company so much that she’ll become their top spokesbabe in no time flat. Heck, her weight shoots up and down so much they could have a new Prozac diet pill and make a killing!
Most likely to get a venereal disease
Mariah Carey
We figure that she’ll need a lot of reassurance when she gets out of the “hospital” and who better to give her that reassurance than all the guys that star in her videos?
Highest IQ
J-Lo
She was smart enough to dump P. Diddy and everything she touches turns to gold. Mariah was dumb enough to dump Tommy Mottola and she’ll soon find out that her touch isn’t necessarily enough to make a project “Glitter,” if you guys catch my drift.
Most likely to toss some salad
Mariah Carey
Her next stop is the big house, where she’ll learn to use that big mouth for something other than yelling at people. We hope she doesn’t forget to bring some salad dressing because that famous “prison variety” dressing apparently tastes pretty crappy.
One-on-one
J-Lo
We think J-Lo would turn Mariah into stuffed turkey if they were to go at it one-on-one. You can take the girl out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the girl. As they say in the fight game: bring it, don’t sing it. Too bad all Mariah can do is sing.
Most likely to lip synch
J-Lo
She can sing, but not as well as Mariah. Not to mention that with all that dancing and jumping around she does during her shows, it’s hard to see how she can belt out tunes while doing her aerobics. After all, she ain’t “Super J-Lo.” We don’t think Mariah could lip synch because moving her mouth to her never-ending screeches would be difficult to do believably.
Most likely to die happy
J-Lo
The jury is still out on this one, but considering that they both are successful, wealthy, attractive, and have much room to improve, you have to wonder how Mariah can end up with a mental breakdown. What will it take for her to be happy, let alone die happy? J-Lo is handling things quite well, so the smart money says she’ll make the grade.
Winner
J-Lo
She isn’t at the top for nothing. She can sing, dance, act, and talk trash with the best of them (not to mention that curvaceous booty of hers), which is why we give J-Lo thumbs up. We’d give her a lot more too, given the chance.
